Such a prescient, beautiful sentiment.

Monday, 24 September 2012

Monday Moron

Three fucking words.

Andrew Mitchell GateGate.

The way I understand it (and feel free to correct me if I'm wrong * death stare *) is that the former cabinet minister for Overseas Aid and Development 'Giving Free Tax Payers' Cash to Fuzzy Fucking Wuzzies For Space Programmes and The Fucking Like', got on his bike to leave 10 Downing Street and approached the large main gates.

"Open the big fuck off gates", he said, "I'm important and I'm in a hurry!"

"Sorry sir, you'll have to use the side gate like everyone else", said the policeman.

"Do you know who I am, you fucking pleb! Open the big fuck off gates and be quick about it!" replied the Mong Mitchell.

"More than my job's worth" said PC Jobsworth, "Camermong uses the side gate and you have to too."

"You fucking moron!" screamed the Mong Mitchell, "I'm the Government Chief Whip, responsible for behaviour of Tory MPs and your behaviour towards someone as important as what I fucking am, is totally dis-fucking-respectful."

"On yer bike Sir, through the side gate, and we'll say no more about it" said PC Jobsworth.

"Right! OK! But you are so fucked when I tell the duty sergeant to fuck you the fuck off!" retorted the beetroot faced Mong Mitchell.

"As you wish Sir. Just doing my job" said PC Jobsworth Smuggy Bollocks.

"Oink fucking Oink! Cunt." shouted Mental Meltdown Mong Mitchell, as he peddled of down Whitehall ... via the side gate/

And that's about all I know about the non-fucking-incident, according to a copy of PC Jobsworth's official report ... that I managed to obtain by promising the duty sergeant a month's supply of cream doughnuts from Greggs ... and a copy of the DVD ... Back Door Brenda Eats Truncheon Meat.

So .... despite the clear evidence, the Mong Andrew Mitchell continues to deny the 'words that have been attributed to him' and PC Jobsworth insists that his report is the 'whole truth and nothing but the truth on me wife's life gov'.

To be honest, who the buggery bollocks gives a flying toss about any of it! Well, it seems the MSM do. The dead twatting tree press and the 24 hour no-news-expect-celbs-and-mother-fucking-fuckwits channels, continue to wank themselves into a cumfest about whether the Mong Mitchell should resign his arse out of his job ... or not.

Who the fucketty fuck, fucking well cares!

Troughing bastard MPs and the Piggy Poilce Farce of Great Britain have been collectively proven as being eco-cunting-nomical with the truth on too may occasions for me to be arsed to count.

Nothing to see here. Move along.

That is all.

Gotty ;-)


  1. Bigoted pleb/plebian bigot ???

    1. Either would do Banned but 'arrogant arsehole' would probably be more accurate ... for both protagonists ;-)

  2. If you doubt its all over for the country just look at today headlines...
    Leader of 'Con Air' gypsy family gang who jetted into Britain to claim benefits in £800k fraud is ordered to pay back less than a TENTH of the cash swindled.....stole £800k what mugs we are.
    A man is fighting for his life in a British hospital after being struck down by a virus similar to Sars.
    The 49-year-old, who was born in Qatar but is believed to have been living in Britain, caught the illness in Saudi Arabia.
    Yesterday they were saying the Qatar government was paying what do you think?
    The sex offender doctors allowed to keep working: Dozens can't be banned in case it breaches their human rights
    Police turned a blind eye to sex grooming gangs for more than a decade, confidential files reveal.
    So why all the fuss MPs and police are as useless as each other. Think about it do you want to loose you job if you tell some cop to fu** off.
    I think the UK has already done this...
    France is set to ban the words 'mother' and 'father' from all official documents under controversial plans to legalise gay marriage

    1. There was a time GS that my piss would have been uncontrollably boiling at headlines like that. Sadly, they are becoming all too familiar. Having said that ... any of your examples would be far more worthy of an MSM masturbationathon, than some cunt calling another cunt a fucking pleb ;-)

  3. Viscount St Albans25 September 2012 at 15:52

    That fucking copper should be promoted to Chief Constable of South Yorkshire Police, if he was that regimental with his Imperial Highness Whipmaster General, what might he have done with those slimy arsehole sucking coppers who encouraged those Muzzie peadophiles to ruin the lives of those white children,( yes they were white ) every one of them should be prosecuted for Criminal Political Correctness,, a new (old) offence, "maximum sentence life"

    1. Fuck the prosecution. Let's have some proper justice for these paki paedophiles. Cut off their bollocks, stuff 'em in their mouth and string the kiddy fiddling foreign fuckers up by their cocks.

      Now that's proper far-right conservatism. Take note Cameron.

  4. "Cut their goolies off! Cut them off!"
    That's fucking right!

    Absolute classic clip from a time when the BBC were actually producing comedy that was worth watching ;-)

  5. OR, here. Could we exhume Saville and do the same. He might not feel it but I'd feel better.