The despair Of The British nation.

Saturday, 25 August 2012

Round And Round The Garden!

Like A Teddy Bear.

Stief Barin  Merkin has been doing her stuff or should that be stuffing her Teddies? Like most relationships any cracks are magnified by financial anxieties. Already Merkin's toy bear Sarkozy has vanished, with that which he was able to hoard prior to fleeing the picnic in the woods. Now his Barin is lumbered with a more irksome and grizzly French replacement growling menacingly at the meal table and in the woods.

Meanwhile, oblivious to the pit into which he is staring and which awaits the eventual and inevitable bear fight that will be the aftermath of this EUSSR collapse, the Greek black and uncomfortable bear prowls the picnic area longing for more scraps. He was encouraged and emboldened by the comforting ablution gatherings of the past few weeks. The affirmation that they were expected to do it in the woods, collectively as well as individually.

Unfortunately our Greek Ursus failed to grasp two flaws in the procedures. Firstly the area set aside was not large enough to accommodate the volume of excrement the "family" was prepared to share. Secondly forest fires had so decimated the economic currency of the reserve timber as to expose the reality that bears really did as they say when in answer to questions of queried certainties! Come on give it a go. It's a sort of metaphorical crossword clue, I think.

So here we are. No one knows where to next, except they all blame Greece for filling up the cess pit, baldly and totally delusionally believing that only the Greek bears do it in the woods. The rest of the "family" somehow magically do it elsewhere. The rest of the Union of teddy bears  are so clever they spirit the muck away into thin air. No stench, no mess, everything pure honeysuckle and joy.

Unfortunately, in the dead of night the other teddies frequent constantly the ghastly and overflowing ablutions. Here they attempt to recycle the stuff that caused the blockages and stagger knee deep, grovelling for any usable material they might recover. It is every bit as horrible, filthy, poisonous and highly infectious as it sounds. 

Any day now someone will go under, probably the Greek Grizzly first. In the belief that this is a good thing to do others will also sink beneath the foul slurry. Still, if they do surface the other side from whence they enter this molten nightmare, there might well be a cold, cleansing shower, followed by a warm sense of freedom and democracy. A new realisation that as one nation and one steadfast unit of common purpose it is possible to rebuild and replant their own forests. Places where there is room to visit more discreetly, efficiently and hygienically the facility.

The ability to pick and choose the right time to carry out the servicing of infrastructure and timber conservation, without the hectoring demands, rules and regulations, so unsuitable for absolutely every circumstance, will become possible. Pettiness and ablution cleaning rosters can be torn up. Picnics can be taken over vast areas not polluted by the stench of an overcrowded, overburdened, badly led bureaucracy. One floating face down in the cess pit of its own creation! Tonight I shall drink to the Greek Ursus and its soon to be had freedom!

One last thought, if Obummer was a bear would he be a grizzly, black or polar one? He sure knows his way around the woods, so they say!


Clarinda said...

Perhaps Greek Yogi may indeed turn out to be "Smarter than the average bear".

Caratacus said...

Obummer the bear was bewildered and not a little scared.

Two large and unsympathetic elder bears had grabbed him by the scruff of the neck and were marching him purposefully towards the woods at the back of the house. When he asked tremulously where they were going, one of them had wedged a toilet roll firmly under one of his arms and growled, "It's time you learnt where bears are supposed to crap ... and it isn't over the taxpayers you dirty little sod" (British bears of course :-) ...)

Demetrius said...

Isn't the bear supposed to be a symbol of Berlin?

Amusing Bunni said...

And here I was expecting cute teddy's! Oh well, great post, OR!
I hope Greece finally sh8Ts or gets off the pot.

Oldrightie said...

Clarinda, great to hear from you. Thank you.

Oldrightie said...


Oldrightie said...

Not since the Russian bear dropped in, Demetrius.

Oldrightie said...

How's that, AB?