Such a prescient, beautiful sentiment.

Thursday, 16 July 2009

Will It Become Jimmy Flu?

New Vaccine To Combat Bad Afghanistan News!

A new vaccine has been announced and Government propaganda outlets, in particular The BBC, have been recruited to hype the pandemic panic in order to gain maximum credit for Jimmy Snot's genius in finding a new vaccine. It is understood that during a nose gourmet evening, Jimmy realised that the cause of this flu was unhygienic habits such as eating your own nasal product. He realised that this knowledge should be used to buy a multi-million pound campaign to teach people to "bin it". Since all Labour Government pronouncements are not applicable to themselves he feels quietly confident he can continue devouring his own mucus.

An added bonus to this hype will be to distract this annoying business about failings to approve military spending needs, for 13 long years. An announcement that The Tami-flu vaccine is to be renamed Jimmy-flu Brownstuff vaccine is expected any day now.
A sample has already been sent, in a red handkerchief, to the Mrs Lady President-in-Waiting of The EUSSR.

Jimmy savours the moment.


  1. This is the man who intends to vaccinate is all with vaccine which hasn't even been tested yet. I'll not be in the queue.

  2. Great minds think alike Oldrightie!!!

    Of course, when company losses are announced, he can blame it on the flu pandemic..

    It won't be "global" or "America" to blame. It will be "Mexico" or "The Pandemic"...for millions of more unemployed.

  3. I'm with SR - I won't be having any 'government-approved' vaccine either - the longer this shower stay in office (they call it 'power') the more I veer towards the conspiracy-theorist end of the spectrum!

  4. How long have I be on...?

    OK, head working is it? No? - SNAFU? - good, fire away.

    I have led a comfortable life. I've never really been in any personal danger, unless you count living in Glasgow as personal danger...

    Damn. Never can work the delete button. Just start again.

    I have led a life in permament mortal fear. But I am not a doctor - I don't work in a hospital in any capacity - apart from weeding the turnips from time to time in the loony bin when things get a bit much for me.

    Accordingly, I shall not seek, and I will not accept, the nomination of my party for amother term as your president

    Delete. Bloody addled brain. That was LBJ.

    Accordingly, I have only once watched a man die. He was very young. 23 I hink. He had lung cancer. Cancer eats you much more quickly when you are young because your cells divide more quickly because they are young.we sat with him in a private room at the airport, the two of us who had driven him there and his lovely young bride who did not not, even when he had gone, that she was his lovely young widow.

    That hit me harder than I knew - he was a stranger to me - I was just helping out - he wanted to go home to die but the airline took one look and said no. I didn't know for a long time how hard that was, not for me, but for her. She was still talking to him - when the policeman asked about 'the deceased' she didn't know who he meant.

    That is how the families of our killed and maimed in this evil war must often feel. The deceased? Who is that?

    My father won a bloody big medal in WWII for murdering Nazis, something which gave him, an otherwise gentle man, considerable pleasure. I am not him. I claim no reflected glory. I deserve none. But I do have one thing in common with him. I hate filth. And filth are what he have in charge of this country today.

  5. No argument from me, Jim. I have suffered the terrible loss of a daughter through the behaviour of a man of Mandleson's ilk. That such people are lauded as brilliant and special, rewarded with great wealth and enobled hurts me deeply. Just look at the likes of Fondlebum, Jimmy Snot, Aintworthajot. Just three of a veritable army of fuckwits.
    We have to fight and fight to be rid of them. Even when feeling great antipathy to The Tories, every vote possible must go to them to rid us for ever of the Soviet yolk. When they are gone we can think again, not before.

  6. Wow, it's now a PANDEMIC, how scarey is that ?
    Should I
    a. obey all Ministerial pronouncements as UK moves to Government By Ministerial Edict ( eg Hairyrat Harman ordering the BBC to re-employ elderly women on Come Dancing ).
    b. curl up under the duvet watching my collection of Zombie/Mutant Plague films until it all goes away ?

  7. 'I have suffered the terrible loss of a daughter'
    To lose a child is the biggest tragedy.
    However my sympathy for you is tempered because you have made foul unfounded innuendos about someone I know, who also lost a daughter and still suffers terribly.

  8. "However my sympathy for you is tempered because you have made foul unfounded innuendos about someone I know, who also lost a daughter and still suffers terribly."

    I do not solicit yours or anyone's sympathy. As for my despising of James Gordon Brown I consider you unfortunate to know him. There is nothing in his public life that has enhanced the quality and success of our Country. His nasty temper and atrocious lack of people skills, coupled with bullying his way into the highest office in the land, give me no confidence that this man has any decent feelings towards anyone but himself.
    As for his family life. A sham of which he has not the courage to live properly. It is a busines arrangement no more or less. If you know him, you know well that I speak with a degree of insight and accuracy.

  9. You have jumped to the wrong conclusion. The person concerned is not in the government and the your smutty gossiping was not on this blog.