New Vaccine To Combat Bad Afghanistan News!
A new vaccine has been announced and Government propaganda outlets, in particular The BBC, have been recruited to hype the pandemic panic in order to gain maximum credit for Jimmy Snot's genius in finding a new vaccine. It is understood that during a nose gourmet evening, Jimmy realised that the cause of this flu was unhygienic habits such as eating your own nasal product. He realised that this knowledge should be used to buy a multi-million pound campaign to teach people to "bin it". Since all Labour Government pronouncements are not applicable to themselves he feels quietly confident he can continue devouring his own mucus.
An added bonus to this hype will be to distract this annoying business about failings to approve military spending needs, for 13 long years. An announcement that The Tami-flu vaccine is to be renamed Jimmy-flu Brownstuff vaccine is expected any day now.A sample has already been sent, in a red handkerchief, to the Mrs Lady President-in-Waiting of The EUSSR.
Jimmy savours the moment.