Jemima Finally Ties The Knot.
After years of broken passion, second best and agonising trauma, Jemima at long last got her wish. Princess to Fondebum's Prince of Everything. Sod the welfare of the nation, the hurriedly re-arranged guest list, now Phony Tony will be outdone and broken hearted as his two lost loves unite in a bond made in hell. No more must Jemima pretend, hurl Nokias or even mount his/her wooden, equine rocker. This is all he/she ever wanted. Now to be controlled instead of controlling, as he/she was in the days of his/her childhood. At last he/she can show the world the real Head of State for the good old UK, whilst once more able to gaze adoringly at a strict father figure who so cruelly spurned his/her desperate need to please.
Now the world really is saved, as this couple bestride the corpse of Labour and socialism, free from the shackles of democracy. Let the people know. There shall be no more elections. The Queen Colossus has decreed and her consort has signed the papers.
As they strolled down the isle, she whispered from a huge distance into her Love's giant left ear;
"Those nappies will have to go!"