Such a prescient, beautiful sentiment.

Sunday, 22 March 2009

Keep a careful watch for these men.

Police warn the public not to approach these men they are likely to tax you to bankruptcy.

Police advise that despite millions of requests to do so, these two men are not able to be arrested for smugness. It is however hoped that in the coming months they may be held to account for untold crimes against Britain. It is also understood that in their absence a moll may endeavour to continue their criminal war against the people of this country through a blatant attack on the men of this land. It is expected that these aggressive moves have been planned for some time. The aim is to cover up this action by using terrorist threats as a diversion.

It is believed these two men may have fled to South America. They are wanted for numerous offences, some of which I am prepared to enumerate. The blatant theft, the largest ever in peacetime, of tax payers' money. The abuse of power in placing friends and relatives in undeserved and lucrative positions. Some of those people are now also on the wanted list. Wanton vandalism of Government property, particularly the Cabinet War Room at number 10 Downing Street. The allowing of fornication, by close friends, in The Palace of Westminster, whilst police officers were otherwise engaged in arresting Conservative Ministers. They are also wanted for questioning into tax haven activities of Senior Ministers, abuse of expense allowances by many shadowy cohorts and the most serious charge of all; Daylight robbery in conjunction with, it is believed, many inside gang members. All apparently sharing the first name of "Lord" or "Sir".

They are also wanted in connection with arson. Before they left it is understood these two men plotted to scorch The United Kingdom in order to cover their tracks and destroy any DNA evidence. Fortunately we have recovered much such evidence from local young men, known to have shared the confidence of the suspects in and around the Westminster streets.

Finally, I would urge The Public to band together en masse to protect themselves against further destructive violence from these gangsters and criminals. It is believed both men may endeavour to infiltrate a G20 summit in the next two weeks, in London. This may be an opportunity for many people to effect a citizens arrest providing sufficient numbers are available to protect themselves against a possible army raised by the two men for their own defense.


  1. Wanted, dead or alive, preferarbly dead.

  2. As they are such control freaks, they might like to choose which gauge of piano wire is used.

    "Bottom C, my Lord. Certainly."

    "And for you, ex-Prime Minister? You'd like something from the bottom as well, no doubt. No, I'm afraid bottom C has gone. How about a nice bottom G? G for Gordon. It's got a nice ring to it, doncha think?"

  3. killemallletgodsortemout said...

    Bottom G, excellent!

  4. Unwanted here, the pair of them.

    Just off out to buy a new suit for the G20 protests - any advice on tie choice?

  5. "The allowing of fornication, by close friends, in The Palace of Westminster"

    You're referring to Major and Currie, I presume?