Such a prescient, beautiful sentiment.

Thursday, 5 March 2009

American Diary, a sequel

It's not so nice being home!

By gosh I'm exhausted after that flight home, steerage. Drunken yobs everywhere, noise, fighting. Mayhem. How do my subjects cope with this sort of flying? The champagne was warm the caviar fishy, terrible. Even the Steward was some old queen. At least 25 years old.

Still Obama seemed to enjoy my chat about sport. Didnae take me up on the tennis however. Had a photo op geared up for April. Still time.

The speech wowed them in the isles, though. Mind you I never realised the average Congress representative age was so young. Late teens early twenties. All desperate for an autograph. I'm so glad we gave them those new £1,000,000 notes to sign, went down well. Very uplifting but I kept hearing people muttering they thought Billy Connolly was thinner, taller, longer hair and even funnier? This was a particularly thoughtful gesture!

Seems it was also very well, even exceptionally, thought of by the BBC. Apparently Paxo stuffed Mandy when Mandy praised it to the skies, so even that was a sort of plus. That Justin Webb has turned against me, though. Still "woman scorned and all that." Chap never got over University challenge. Wish I hadn't got him banished to The States.

I'm glad to be home. Didn't bother with the make up at Heathrow, dark not a soul about. Not exactly a Beatles style home coming. I'll make them pay though. Millions I'll spend on the G20.

Well, Jeeves informs Dobbin is all cleaned up and the farm is as I left it. My toy pigs are now all placed round a farm table with an effigy of me at the head. Magic, he is so thoughtful, my Butler. I feel so great I might even take a rock on Dobbin before my forty winks. I do love America. Hate this sodding Country though.


  1. Don't you just want to poke his other eye out in the that snotty photo? Have you seen this? Someone really should teach Brown some table manners and the tricky art of eating fondue :)

    I read it on someone's blog this morning but can't find it now (so sorry to them)..

  2. Yes, I saw that Sue. OH I think.

  3. Thats an other thing that hes ballsed up.

  4. Bit of a fon-dont, I think.
    (I prostrate myself in shame: execrable pun)
    The thing is, he probably thought they *did* love him so will be more arrogant than ever, forgetting that Obama didn't offer him lunch...