The despair Of The British nation.

Tuesday, 28 August 2012

Noah's Ark Still At Planning Stage.

Boats Being Missed Everywhere.


OR has been given sight of this devastating report, worthy of intense consideration. Warning over. 

"The recent record spell of high rainfall and resultant flooding throughout the UK has caused untold misery for many businesses and households, and it seems that there may be worse to come.  The Environment Agency is still issuing flood warnings almost on a daily basis, and is having some difficulty keeping up with the resulting problems.
An Agency spokesman gave an example during a recent briefing:-
“One consequence of the heavy rainfall is that we are running out of sandbags.  We know that sand is one of the most common substances, but you still have to dig it up and fill bags with it, and we have neither the training nor the resources to undertake this vital activity.  However, on that front, things are actually looking up.
We are free-issuing high risk flood areas with Global Warming Experts and Consultants.  They have been sandbagging British Industry and the taxpayer for years now, so they should be really good at it.  We have tens of thousands of them, and they seem to spend most of their time lying about doing nothing apart from absorbing resources, so we thought we’d give them a go, and guess what, they work really well!  One or two propped up outside your front door is enough to keep the worst raging torrent at bay, and the great thing is, when it’s all over, we won’t be asking for them back”.
The Inland Revenue confirmed that there was no Benefit in Kind associated with owning your own GW expert, as there was no discernible benefit to be derived from their activities.
Not everyone was enthusiastic about the idea.  An influential Parliamentary group pointed out that they had worked really hard to create both the Global Warming and Human Rights industries as an enhanced pension scheme (scam)? and post-political retirement opportunity for MP’s, and to have GW wrecked so soon after the House of Commons expenses scandal and the current banking crisis left a large hole in future employment and fiscal expectations.

End

2 comments:

Get Smart said...

Future generations will ask and wonder what did we let these morons ruin the country, why did we keep voting for them just look as this crap..
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2194518/Tories-pass-Danny-Boyle-test-warns-minister.html

Demetrius said...

Buy land in the Sahara and get a government grant.