The despair Of The British nation.

Friday, 5 November 2010

The Bunker's New Resident In Waiting.

The Traitor Takes A Peek.


It's so often the oldies who spot the flaws! After a difficult week selling out to the Chinese, via the Kermit dwarf,  here , a mauling over his bald spot air brusher's jobs for mates appointment and the sudden euro sceptic mask and façade being recognised as a toxic wax covering, he needed a diversion. Sod taking the boy wonder Chancellor with him, he would venture down those stairs to the underground basement and the infamous Snotty retreat, alone.
As he crept quietly down those steps he pondered on how he had managed to become known and found out so easily that he was now  SEUD. (Septic EU Dave). He guessed it was after a Maggie style hand bagging by Frau Merkel, swiftly followed by his not getting to meet the fragrant though well worn Carla and forced to take a metaphorical, paupers rogering, by her Dwarf. Not a good week and the tiniest hint of doubt had arisen over his fear of becoming known as worse than that creature, Snotty, at the job.
The corridor was as he had been led to believe. Dimly lit, the fingers of bulbs hung unshaded from the ceiling. Their faint glow an insult to the concept of a modern age as they barely shone as much light as a Victorian gas lamp.
Some two thirds down the corridor he came to the huge, grey, forbidding, gas proof door, with the massive lever arm slotted into the catch. He stood and looked with a steadily growing anxiety creeping into his stomach. He moved forwards and with a big effort raised the lever upwards to release the door. It creaked slowly open towards him as he stepped away to allow the springs to do do their work. He felt sick as he stepped into the dark, musty, slightly NHS ward smelling entrance............................................





17 comments:

subrosa said...

Wonderful. Next installment please.

Oldrightie said...

Why, thank you, Subrosa. Working on it!

Demetrius said...

Think of him as Hercules cleansing the Augean Stables. Only he isn't Hercules and Gordon Brown kept a lot more cattle than Augeas.

microdave said...

What's the story behind your picture? I've obviously missed something!

Oldrightie said...

MicroD, just showing how he sometimes gets recognised! Demetrius, indeed he will have much (pun alert) labour ahead!

tris said...

I was really disappointed when I scrolled down and found you'd left us on a cliff hanger...

Get you to work OR....

Oldrightie said...

I will, Tris, I will!

killemallletgodsortemout said...

Key words for the next instalment, OR.

Dank
Musty
Damp
Piss-stained
Rocking-horse
Fungus-encrusted nappies
Soiled
Stained
Nokia
Sperm-filled jar
Beard

I'm sure that in time, all of these things will apply to the latest traitor - Dave "Trust Me" Cameron - to enter through the gas-proof door.

Caratacus said...

Pure poetry OR.

Killem, Did you deliberately miss out Mandelbum? I'm convinced that he's still pulling strings in the shadows. European strings, the treacherous bastard.

Oldrightie said...

KILLEM, you been looking over my shoulder, in conjunction with Caratacus!!

killemallletgodsortemout said...

BUGGER!

I DID leave Fondleboys out on purpose!

That was for my next comment!

BUGGER, again!

Caratacus said...

I've been handed a leaked copy of a letter from a firm of solicitors claiming to represent Lord Mandelbum of Hartybeeste; I'll skip over the usual legal-speak bollocks, the essence is ".... we represent our client Lady Mandelbum of Maison de les Jeune Fils, Rue de la Bonjour Matelot, Bruxelles.

It has been brought to our attention that certain scurrilous rumours are being circulated on a blog site known as "Old Rightie" (hereinafter referred to as OR). It is no secret that our client is a homosexual creep. It is not denied that he lives with a Brazilian boyfriend in a house that no-one could ordinarily afford on the salary of a public servant.

However, your respondents "killemallletgodsortemout" and "Caratacus" would do well to remember that our client is capable of hissy fits of awesome proportions. Any further legal proceedings may be averted by the usual covert payment of bundles of used fivers.

We await your confirmation .... etc.

Messrs. Sue, Goblitt & Pisov"

I hope you are quaking in your wellies, one and all!

killemallletgodsortemout said...

If he'd like to come round and collect the bundles of fivers personally, I have a friend here who would love to have a word.

He's a direct descendent of John Moses Browning, and his bite is definitely worse than his bark!


Heigh-ho!! ;-), me old mucker.

Caratacus said...

killem - Not Mr .56??

killemallletgodsortemout said...

No, Mr. 525.

Caratacus said...

I dunno - you young uns, always after the latest doodads. Miles of road left in the 425 as well....

Oldrightie said...

I still suffer from 303 shoulder, gentlemen!