The despair Of The British nation.

Saturday, 18 September 2010

Is It Just Me?

That Feels Better?


Quentin Letts reports that Dennis The Menace Skinner was observed chatting amicably to The Tory Chief Whip. The Papal visit appears to be going far better than The BBC Communist and Atheist Party expected and campaigned against. The battered and bruised economy is out of intensive care though still comatose  and celebrity squares Government less apparent. The Millipedes charade of a contest looks ever more likely to produce another cartoon character, depressive, Labour Mafia Boss. One likely to offend The Electorate in the manner to which we became less than happy with. 
Nope, the UK agenda definitely seems to be changing for the better. Surely it's not just me. Go on, dear reader, see if you can find some good stuff for the weekend!!


2 comments:

Caratacus said...

A Labour MP died and went to heaven. I hasten to point out immediately that this is not the “happy” part of the story, please bear with me.
As he passed through the Pearly Gates, St. Peter was on hand to greet him warmly, shake his hand, and guide him into Paradise. Peter lit him a White Eagle cigar and took him on a bit of a tour around that beautiful and welcoming garden, pointing out the special features, the fountains, the glorious buildings dedicated to further learning and debate, the Halls of Awakening and the Wells of Enlightenment.
Eventually they entered a huge hall. It was truly enormous, extending to many miles long and wide, and the walls were covered in clocks. Each clock read a different time and the occasional gentle tinkling of bells deferentially interrupted an aura of quiet serenity.
The Labour MP gazed about him in wonderment. He turned to Peter and asked,
“What are all these clocks doing here?”
“Each clock”, said Peter, “represents the lifetime of each person on Earth. When they die, a small bell chimes and we know that their life has drawn to a close”.
The MP said, “Tell me something Peter, I’ve noticed that some of the clocks occasionally sort of... speed up and gain an hour. Why is that?”
Peter coloured slightly and coughed, “Ahem... that... I um.. Well – the thing is every time that person sort of .. well you know, returns to the sins of their childhood.. that is, PLAYS with themselves.. they lose an hour off their lifespan”.
The MP wandered off looking intently at the clocks as he moved purposefully hither and yon. Peter hurried after him, “What are you looking for, my son?”
The MP, without pausing in his search, replied, “I’m looking for Gordon Brown’s clock...”
Peter stopped short. “Oh - you won’t find his clock here.”
“Why not?” asked the MP.
Peter looked left and right and dropped his voice to a whisper,
“We keep his in the kitchen – we use it as a fan”.

Now – I know this may not be precisely what you had in mind OR, but the object is to be of good cheer, n’est ce pas?

Oldrightie said...

It is indeed,Caratacus, thank you!