The despair Of The British nation.

Thursday, 2 September 2010

By Caratacus.

For Those Who Missed It!


Caratacus said...
"Looking back to those hectic days at the end of 2010 it seems amazing now that anyone considered that Millipede the Elder was ever really likely to lead the Labour party. Once Ed Millipede released those photographs it was inevitable that his elder brother would retire from public life, and, of course, when it transpired that Ed himself had been having an affair with Harriet Harperson, the writing was on the wall for the brothers Milliband. As we now know, Ed Balls had to retire from the leadership contest for medical reasons and we have been assured recently by medical staff at Manchester Royal Infirmary that the recent final operation to remove various pieces of domestic ironmongery from his rectal passage has been successful. Ms Cooper continues to assist the police with their enquiries.
In the polarised contest that followed between Burnham and Flabbot, the collective votes of the unions were instrumental in ensuring the success of the first black woman leader of the Labour party.

Anyone who imagined that the Coalition government would be able to capitalise on the Labour party’s upheavals were, of course, sadly mistaken. When Vince Cable was exposed as the principal instigator of the now infamous “Night of the Queens”, few expected that Nick Clegg would be able to survive as leader of the LibDems. And, with the added impetus of Simon Hughes’ exposure last Christmas, the coalition began to implode.

David Cameron’s decision to go for a snap election last May proved one step too many for the electorate and the landslide victory for Flabbot ushered in a new era of Socialism.

In a statement to the media the new leader of the Conservatives, Sir David Davis, said that enough was enough. He would be pressing for the immediate withdrawal of Great Britain from the EUSSR, the impeachment of Tony Blair for war crimes in the middle east and the arrest of Gordon Brown for the destruction of the British economy (and for wearing a scruffy suit in a built up area). YouTube footage of Mr. Davis felling Lord Prescott with a single slap on the steps of Westminster recently passed the 8 million mark.

The Prime Minister Ms Flabbot last night pledged that Caribbean food would be compulsory for all meals on wheels customers and aaaaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrrrrrgggghhh"
I loved it so much I have blatantly reproduced it for wider possible wider readership. Hope he doesn't mind.



5 comments:

Captain Haddock said...

That must be a photo of Hattie Hatesmen in wishful thinking mode .. or a reference to the size of vertically challenged Jack Dromey's ego ..

Oldrightie said...

Both, Captain.

subrosa said...

I missed it OR so much appreciated.

Atlas said...

Read it the first time, but always enjoy reading it again. It has a terrifyingly prophetic flavour to it that has me wishing fervantly that it shall never come to pass.

Caratacus said...

V. flattered OR... (+ slightly surprised that my drunken ramblings warrant inclusion in your august site).

Excellent photo of the Harridan btw. Captain H beat me to it (schon wieder)! Reminds me of a cover of "Private Eye" many years ago with Enoch Powell (ever revered be his name) in similar pose; the caption read, "And I tell you - some of them have got them THIS big!"

Ahh - the best is gone.