The despair Of The British nation.

Monday, 21 September 2009

A Labour government on the brink of comedy


Rumour has it that a number of Labour cabinet ministers are going to be taking up jobs in comedy and entertainment, following their swift exit from Parliament in November. Mandy believes that he has struck a plum deal with a few friends at the BBC. An announcement is to be made that the reverse lothario will be taking over from Atkinson, playing the part of Mr Bean. Plans are already being made to involve a recreation of the famous head-up-a-turkey's-rear scene from years ago, but in more relevant way to Lord Nobbletips. A guest appearance from Jimmy is also on the cards, for a four figure sum. Yes, it is true, our outgoing masters are seeking out sources of new income, to supplement their platinum plated pension and resettlement allowances. Meanwhile, longstanding comedy actors are complaining about being sidelined. Legislation is being drafted and voted through Parliament right now, protecting the human rights of ex-cabinet ministers. It is expected to include clauses that encourage redeployment in State Controlled Television. Blinky has his eyes on the purple couch of one be-lisped talk show host, but the present incumbent wont give up without a fight. As he siphons out £2bn worth of education cuts back into his pension coffers, Mr Lisp is protecting his interests in secret meetings with Lord Fondletubs. A certain 4 man musical accompaniment to Mr Lisp's show is lacking just two such men, tight lime green t-shirts will be worn, with an embossed mugshot of their ailing Furher. The desperation to shore up their income is limitless.

8 comments:

Demetrius said...

There is a rumour that many of them have been signed up already by certain subscription channels. And I don't mean football.

Oldrightie said...

The sort with channel numbers in the high 900's indeed!

Barking Spider said...

I know them well!

Edgar said...

The high 900s you say? Worth a quick, 'free' course in emergency numeracy at the local tech, then?

Anonymous said...

Oddrightie



Here’s a quick update on the Irish Lisbon Referendum. There was a new poll from Millward Brown on Sunday that put YES at 53% and NO at 26%

not going very well for no brigade
onwards and upwards with the European Union.


HURRAH!HURRAH!HURRAH!
poor oldrightie

Oldrightie said...

Polls are often wrong Anonymouse, the proof of the pudding will be in the eating. Try reading the small print on the poll, you may notice that only a handful of people in a YES area were surveyed. What are your research credentials?

Anonymous said...

Odddrightie

I asked an Irishman and he told so he did



http://www.irishtimes.com/ireland/

Oldrightie said...

It's not over yet. Freedom is never free and always comes at a price. The Irish can choose freedom and to retain their sovereignty or they can opt for a short term EU economic rescue package that will see them through the next few years in return for their freedom. Don't bet what way the Irish will vote, they'll not be parted with their freedom.