The despair Of The British nation.

Saturday, 21 March 2009

A Snotty diary entry.


Since my last diary entry it has been less of an easy ride. Still the BBC and Rupert are just about keeping the lid on the disasters befalling everybody.
Merkeldrawers and Sarky-Sarkozy still as cosy as ever. Bastards but I'll show them.

Manuel the Magnificent's hush hush visit to my bunker last week was terrific. I'd just been called phoney by that bloody DC. Well I gave him phoney. 20 Nokias smashed. My phone shares are still my best investment. Up to 50 replacements a week now. Some snake oil bugger said I should use blackberries. They might stain the walls purple but you wouldn't get the sound. Probably UK produced so that's no good either.
Anyhow back to Manuel A financial genius. He is offering a deal wherebye I give him £200 billion in cash and he gives me £400 billion in notes and cocoa or something. This will give me some clout by golly. I'll get Alistair to announce everybody voting Labour at the next election gets a sachet of cocoa and £10,000 cash. A bit more than we gave in Birmingham and Glenrothes but heh, desperate times.
I discussed this with the only slimy sod I can trust these days. He patted his hair, smoothed his trousers, checked the mirror and swished the ermine cloak I can never get off him lately. The budget will knock The Opposition for six with all the money I shall have to slosh about.
Then he said that this was brilliant. Save The Labour Party, The Nation and my Russian investments all at once, he said. Any snags, I asked. The Yanks won't like it he said, they've had the monopoly on this but heck, Obama won't mind, will he. Draw some flak off his southern borders.
Obama, I said. I'm not interested in him anymore. Too much like goody, goody, two shoes.
Anyhow, Manuel was ecstatic at being in Number 10. Thought it a bit dark in the cellar but he did enjoy riding my new rocking horse whilst puffing on a slowly roasted cocoa bean. I don't let many on my dobbin but this was a special meeting. What a deal. Faultless as long as MI6 do their job.
The power I shall have at the G20, could get Grinning Tone off The EU Presidency list. I can announce my £4.5 trillion debt is totally costed and I have saved the world. All that is needed from the rest is to ensure that the cocoa consumption on their street is inflated exponentially. A world of happy, compliant cocoa consumers. Binge drinking virtually eradicated, obesity cracked, meths abuse gone. Talk about win win. Apparently this extra strong cocoa is better than my Largactil.
Now, how do I look in this sombrero?










19 comments:

Anonymous said...

H'm, I wouldn't put it past the bugger.

subrosa said...

Still not getting your feeds Oldrightie. Auch I'll just have to bookmark you and visit every day now. Dearie me :)

Oldrightie said...

Thank you Subrosa, I'll try again to sort. I did think I had done so. Still find it spooky!

Sue said...

Soon have everyone under control! Compliant, reliant, happy and he can tax it! Wow, what a cunning plan.

Span Ows said...

"Soon have everyone under control! Compliant, reliant, happy and he can tax it! Wow, what a cunning plan."

Yes, the photshop of Gordo is of course from Hugo, the Venezuelan version of crazy leadership. I used to think there was a world of difference but every week he and Brown become closer although at least Hugo admits it.

Oldrightie said...

Hi, Span Ows1 Thank you for dropping by. Hope you got a smile?

Lawson Narse said...

If he smuggles it back in his nappy, it will result in a Brown Stain on the tarmac and piss flavoured cocoa.

aproposofwhat said...

Thanks OldRightie - a smile on a Sunday morning to make up for my rugby dismay of yesterday :o)

I can't help thinking though - we claim to control Helmand, so surely tincture of poppy would be cheaper to acquire than cocoa?

http://www.cctvstar.blogspot.com said...

Tequilas all round!

Oldrightie said...

aproposofwhat said
I can't help thinking though - we claim to control Helmand, so surely tincture of poppy would be cheaper to acquire than cocoa?
--------------
Good point but are Snotty's claims to be believed? Also money laundering is possibly easier via South America!

22 March 2009 05:07
http://www.cctvstar.blogspot.com said...

Plus the worm?

Anonymous said...

climate change alert...
a pal of mine said when he lloked at his leccy bill at the bottom were the initials
CCL He phoned to find out what they stood for..
CLIMATE CHANGE LEVY
mercifully there was a zero alongside the initials but time will tell.
urban11

Oldrightie said...

urban11

Have you been clicking my teddy bear?

The Penguin said...

Good stuff!

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