The despair Of The British nation.

Thursday, 26 February 2009

Diary of a delusionist.


I wish to be loved as a great and successful leader and so intend to share diary extracts to show what a straight kinda guy I am. Has that been said before?


Dear Diary,

Today I had a very early start and managed a quick 15 minutes on Dobbin before dressing. Couldn'’t be bothered with a shower, I was meeting one in cabinet later. Most of them are too daft to realise that dear Paul and Mandy are just two of the Lords I intend to replace them all with. I shall have a Cabinet of all the Lords! Just think, Freddy gets £650,000 a year for a peerage. He’ll be great for donations and the like.
Paul’s party last night was wonderful. He must be twenty times richer than that Ashcroft donor chap. He provided young homeless street urchins as waiters. PM, (wonderful initials Peter has), was beside himself with joy. Lady Myner's art collection was a pleasure to behold. £200 million pounds worth. This Labour Peer business must pay well.
A very nice day to watch how Paul and Fred are playing out the pension charade. Keeps that little swine, King off the front pages blaming me for this entire shit storm. He was supposed to toe the line that it’s all Americas fault. Little sod. Just can't trust these straight decent sassanach lot.
Also good to see old Blair’s Princess speechwriter hasn’t lost his touch bless him. Shame he’s so old and in his early twenties, I could have taken even more deeply to the young man.
Good old Ally did as he was told, slipped the latest bank bailout under the radar. No one spotted my latest wheeze to bugger The Tory lot. Scorched earth will not be my Barbarossa. Still looking good for the 2013 tax riots. The BBC already have their teams raring to go.
As for spoiling people’s lives, pah, why should I care? Ungrateful fucking public. I devote my life, well the bit when I’m not building my fortune, (If nothing else I intend to be richer than The Teflon bloody Kid) to booming their wretched little lives and now they are moaning over a bit of a blip. By July it will all be back to normal.
I see the postie lot are stirring. That orange Boer jumping up and down sniffing the breeze. If he thinks I’m a quitter he can just talk to dear Peter. Mind you, I’m concerned for my gay Lord and these Russians. I thought bailing out those Brummies would be good PR but Peter says not, something about dirty laundry. He does love his snakes and ladders and little behind the desk little fiddles, bless.
I must dash for now. A new work experience lad due in my office. I intend to get down to a nice bit of teaching and instructing the wee boy. What with Sarah away as usual does rather let me off the leash.
Now where did I chuck that mobile when that latest poll came in?

4 comments:

Ted Foan said...

You get betterer and betterer, my friend. I think you should get yourself a column in the Grauniad!

Faux Cu said...

Brilliant


What "legal" medication are you on?

Is it available on the NHS?

Faux Cu said...

One for your Quotes section

We trained hard . . . but it seemed that every time we were beginning to form up into teams we would be reorganized. I was to learn later in life that we tend to meet any new situation by reorganizing; and a wonderful method it can be for creating the illusion of progress while producing confusion, inefficiency, and demoralization.

Attributed to Gaius Petronus

Oldrightie said...

Faux Cu.......
Thank you most kindly, all, Faux, I like the quote and have added same. Couldn't get the attribution in but will keep trying. I hope "Snotty" will comtinue to enlighten us all on the way a mad man's mind functions!