The despair Of The British nation.

Tuesday, 17 February 2009

Another Downfall

Warning, not for the faint at heart!





Thursday afternoon, the 17th of February, 2009, in the bunker. An exhausted, rather dishevelled figure lies in a bay window, stretched on a chaise lounge. Gently rocking in the corner, a tired and paint worn rocking horse, eeks out the last dying movement of it's recent hard and fiendish pounding. It is drenched in the residue from a large nappy discarded by it's side.
Attending the supine figure that is gently moaning a deep guttural sound, is an equally scruffy and untidy, unshaven male. The latter whispers quietly, "I can cure you. I am from Berkley and I am the most accomplished shrink you could ever know." Still the moaning continues. There is a firm but quiet knock on the door. The "shrink" tip toes across the room to open it. There stands a tall, snake like, shadowy figure. This man bows to whisper in the shrink's ear. "Did you tell him yet?", he asked of the shrink. "Yes, Cameron's lot up 4%, we're down at 28%."
Suddenly the figure on the couch let's out a scream of rage and leaps to his feet. In the dimly lit room a single eye blazes with incandescent rage and fire. A large phone like object hurls toward the two men at the door, shattering against the frame.
On and on roars the voice in the room.

"I'll give you fu**ing 28%, I'll give you 10% before I'm sodding finished. Scorched earth my ar*e, I'll piss off abroad and leave this ungrateful Peasant Nation in more shit than Hannibal's elephants ever discharged. Just you see. Balls leader? He'd be no f***ing where if I hadn't shown him what real men do, the ungrateful bastard. As for you", he points at the men once more, a fresh mobile clutched in his shaking fist, "You pair of bloody forget- me nots, what have you been doing. One of you makes a bog of a simple blog and the other pi**ses around dancing with some aged TV dame, pretending to be f***ing straight for f**k's sake. Well I'm not done yet."

He slumps to his knees, dribble pouring from the corners of his mouth. The two men quietly close the door behind them as they leave.
"H'm", says the scruffy one, "I think that went quite well". The Snake hissed.

9 comments:

Ted Foan said...

Oldrightie - you must be exhausted after that tour de force! Bravo!

Anonymous said...

Not as good as those excellent films but a good evocation!

Oldrightie said...

Thank you as ever, Ted!

Sue said...

Very good :) It would fit nicely on the bottom of one of those movies. I could put the writing on, I just don't know what the movie is called to download it. The trouble with the existing copies on utube is they are already covered in subtitles and as far as I know there is no way of removing them once they are hardcoded.

Oldrightie said...

Thank you Sue, I'll have a look for some footage.

Sue said...

Alternatively, I could write some instructions for you and give you a link to the freeware. It´s a simple process if you would like to learn!

Oldrightie said...

Yes please, Sue that would be great, you have my email, I believe?

Sue said...

You'll have to email again, I had a clearout the other day as I was getting loads of spam and mail from Nigerian ladies asking for money, russian ladies wanting husbands and offers of penis enlargement and viagra... swbk2345ATgmail.com

Why do they always assume that I am a bloke?

Oldrightie said...

I signed up to all these spam requests. I am now a gibbering eunoch with a harem of Russian wives I can't touch! Only joking! Will do on the mail.